Flipping the Script in your Head: This Little Light of Mine

We’ve made it a month into social distancing and self-quarantine. This has not been easy. Chris and I have been balancing full time careers from home, figuring out how to keep a toddler entertained and safe, maintaining our physical and emotional health, keeping in touch with family and friends, sanitizing all the things…the list goes on and on and on.

Although a global pandemic is a brand spankin’ new experience, there are feelings that sit in my chest that are uncanny. They’ve manifested before in past traumatic experiences. That overwhelming feeling that life has changed. Uncertainty surrounds each day and what will happen next feels like its clouded in rolling fog.

Sprinkle those feelings of doubt with a tendency to catastrophize and I could easily tailspin into a dark place. But I have not chosen that path.

I’ve been here before- not necessarily the same “here” but I’ve felt that same pit in my stomach and so far I’ve come out on the other side 100% of the time.

There are a few steps I take when I feel below the line.

  1. I acknowledge where I am because its OK to feel uncertain when uncertainty is surrounding you.
  2. I allow my mind to wander. I use the fear setting method because it personally works wonders for me. Sometimes I ask myself how things could turn out (typically my biggest fear) then I force myself to think of other ways the same situation could pan out.
  3. Lastly, and most importantly, there is (a kind of embarrassing) self-affirmation I repeat to myself. Did any other Catholic school kids out there sing “This Little Light of Mine?” Well, I repeat this song in my head. It doesn’t matter if there is a “light at the end of the tunnel” because I am the light in the tunnel. Also, NO ONE can turn my light off. Absolutely. No. One. Even if I feel like someone is trying, its only me that dims my own light. Ever since I started to say this to myself, I’ve noticed that my close circle expanded with others that also allow their lights to shine.

So there you have it. Right now is so tough. Everyone has the cross they are bearing through this crisis. Sorry to break it to you, but you WILL go through more tough times. But I am very pleased to confirm that no matter what, you can continue persevere and shine.

Hope everyone is staying safe!

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